SSD. day one.

15 Apr

as i embark upon an unconventional week, taking part in dr. larry crabb’s school of spiritual direction with 40 others from my church, a flood of thoughts rush through my mind…and stir in my soul.

just a few short hours ago, when asked to describe my ‘red dot’ – where my heart and mind were at this very moment, my response went something like this ::

i’m conflicted. i am energized by this [spiritual direction, conversation, authentic community] – it moves me in my very being and i gain life from it – i’m in my ‘sweet spot’ having these conversations, asking probing questions and learning how to better direct people toward God. and yet, at the same time – right next to these holy urges – it awakens and arouses in me a longing for acceptance, a striving, a desire to perform…and i am fearful.

i don’t want to give that life.

with this in mind, i share some thoughts from this evening’s first session – and will do so each day as i better learn to encounter christ in myself and in others.

you can’t help from a distance.

grace is required when you live in community – when you live superficially, there’s no need for grace.

the degree to which i am helpless is the degree to which the spirit can move.

we must raise our vision from a vision of the blessed who are missionally active to a vision of the broken who are relationally powerful.

maturity is defined by stability of purpose not stability of emotion.

when you want solitude, seek community; when you want community, seek solitude.
— bonhoeffer

i am cautiously curious as to what God has for me this week. (said by another person attending the retreat)

one prayer for this week is that my passion toward God and my passion toward people will be better understood by me, and by those around me – and that these passions will be seen, discerned and celebrated in them by me. i want to see the image of God more clearly in myself and in others – and celebrate the heavenly longings that are in each and every one of us.

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3 Responses to “SSD. day one.”

  1. gracetracer April 18, 2012 at 11:50 AM #

    Wayward F!
    I agree that proximity and community go hand in hand and that one cannot help (much) if one is not present. However, prayer is help and so I am dedicating myself to pray for your journey during this crucial time of discovery.
    God bless!
    Trace James

    • the WayWard follower April 19, 2012 at 7:55 AM #

      thanks for reading, and even more so for your prayers!

      • gracetracer April 21, 2012 at 1:07 AM #

        You are welcome. God bless you on this journey!

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