my name is michael, and i am a workaholic. literally. i can’t stop working.
part of this unfortunate truth is a result of my past choices that have led me to a place of near financial ruin. i don’t work simply because i enjoy it, but because i don’t have a choice.
i need the money. so i work. to pay the bills, to begin the long climb out of debt. and i’m on my way.
i work. every single day. two jobs. all day, every day. i work.
i also work because i enjoy it. it brings me purpose. i like to produce things. results. i get energized from destroying ‘to do’ lists. the more i get done, the better i feel.
but not today.
today, i took a sabbath. a real one. i got up early, and relaxed. i brewed a pot of coffee, and read a book. then i sat on my porch and enjoyed the weather. i prayed. i waited. i listened.
then i read some more. slowly. because i wanted to. i even scribbled notes in the margin.
about half way through my enjoyably caffeinated reading, the thought hit me :: i am at peace. in the midst of the chaos of my whirlwind of a week, i am still. i’m slowed down. my body, my soul, my mind. all of me is at rest.
here are some more thoughts on sabbath from rob bell ::
Sabbath is a day when my work is done, even if it isn’t.
Sabbath is a day when my job is to enjoy. Period.
Sabbath is a day when I am fully available to myself and those I love most.
Sabbath is a day when I remember that when God made the world, he saw that it was good.
Sabbath is a day when I produce nothing.
Sabbath is a day when I remind myself that I am not a machine.
Jesus wants to heal our souls, wants to give us the shalom of God. And so we have to stop. We have to slow down. We have to sit still and stare out the window and let the engine come to an idle. We have to listen to what our inner voice is saying.
it’s a tough lesson for me to learn. but then again, so are most things worth learning.